I Am The Mother Of A Superhero

Yes...yes it's true. Of course, I didn't know it until yesterday morning. But, isn't that the way of it? So often mothers are in the dark as to their childrens super powers. The Big News of my son's superpowers came as a bit of a surprise to me...

See, I am an only child. Yup, lonely only, that's me. All of the cousins my age were girls. All the neighborhood kids were girls (well, mostly). I really knew very few boys growing up. Then, as a mom, I had three girls first....then along came The Man Cub.

It has been quite something learning to parent a boy. Anyone who tells you "they are just the same" is lying through their teeth. I especially began to fear that my son was, well, a deviant. He seemed unnaturally obsessed with his private parts...greatly enjoyed whipping it out when he was about 4 and chasing his sisters... getting them to squeal or have a complete fit, depending on their age. Now, at 8, his great enjoyment consists of standing (fully clothed, mind you) with hands on hips, slightly thrusting his hips forward and saying "pssssssss....I'm peeing on you!" to my utter discouragement and his sister's complete disgust. These reactions only seem to fuel him further.

But, I digress. Suffice to say, I am not familiar with man cubs. It has been a learning experience.

So...Yesterday, as I sat knitting away on Ribby's sleeves, the Man Cub approached. He stood by my chair, and I heard the familiar "psssssss" sound hissing from his lips. Tired, un-caffienated, I muttered, "Please, will you just stop?"

He turns to me and says, "I'm shooting webs out my penis!"

My response: "Okayyyyyyyy..."

Man Cub: (striking a pose, chest thrust out, hands on hips) "I'm....PENIS MAN!"

Me: "Wellll, buddy...you might get in quite a bit of trouble whipping it out in public..."

Man Cub: (indignant) "I wouldn't SHOW anyone!!!......well....maybe a few people..."

While being thrilled of course that I have spawned a superhero...I still harbor a few niggling fears of his growing up to be a complete deviant. Sigh. Motherhood....who knew?