Perseverance

Last night on my way out of work, I enlarged the chart for Hanging Vines to 120%. At home, I tried a couple more yarns...some light blue/beige LL sock yarn....which I love...but...bleh. Went out and dragged out the Lagoon Twinkletoes yarn that makes my heart beat fast....I know it's still variegated, but I LOVE this yarn and the variegation is much more subtle. It looked much better than anything I've tried previously...but...still doesn't show the pattern too well. Realized part of my frustration is trying to knit this on circs. The yarn overs at the end of the rows tend to tighten up...hanging on the joins of the circ to the cable.

Finally....I went back to the garage and dug, seriously dug, until I found a pair of bamboo size 6 straight needles. These worked so much better...but still the pattern doesn't show well for all this work. So today I have the KnitPicks Alpaca Cloud back in the car along with the bamboo straights.

Thanks to a suggestion from the Summer of Lace Yahoo Group on knitting lace with charts, I made a copy of the pattern for each pattern row (12 rows, all WS are purled - so six copies). Each page I colored one row - Green for SSK, Blue for K2tog and Red for K3 tog. Stapled them together...and at break this a.m. I am back to this pattern again.

In the past, I would have given up a long time ago. Said "this is too hard". But all those posts by Margene are swirling in my head...about finishing. I seriously WANT this scarf....and all the trials of yarn, needles, and keeping track of the pattern are only steps to getting it, right? Right. At 41, I am discovering some things I don't like about myself. I do not have a lot of perseverance for things I want...I have said "this is too hard" about way too many things in my life. I have a lot of willingnes to stick with relationships...even those that are way past the expiration date. But doing something for myself? My dancing...costuming...knitting for myself...I don't seem to think I am worth a lot of trouble.

Time for that to change.