Mmmm it's good to be back. Good to cruise the web and see the amazing knitting going on...laugh at the stories y'all tell...drool over new colors and patterns.
I appreciate the warm welcome back into the fold of knit bloggers. Always welcomed home...open arms. My family of origin could take a few lessons.
One of the things I did while I was away was have an evaluation for sleep apnea. Emily used to tell me she thought I stopped breathing in the night....but I didn't do anything about it.
Over the last year...I have had crushing fatigue that has changed my life most unpleasantly. But I wasn't willing to go to the sleep lab and do the work involved. Why? Well....that would be self care. You know...taking care of your health....and I haven't been one to do that. I'll take care of my kids, my friends, strangers on the street....but me? Nah...I can wait. You know....till there's money for it. And time, yeah, more time too.
Then there's the whole CPAP thing....ever seen someone with CPAP on? Dead sexy....Jodie calls it "The Snuffleuffagus" look...I just didn't wanna mess with it. If they say I have sleep apnea and I have to sleep with that thing on....geez, what a hassle. Nah. I'll just live with it. Despite the fact I've had two near accidents from damn near falling asleep at the wheel...despite my work performance has suffered and I've been pretty much unable to work a 40 hour work week. Despite that I am exhausted and bitchy as all hell and no fun to be around. Despite the fact that I have felt like I am a spectator in life rather than a participant because I'm so effing tired ALL THE TIME....No, I didn't wanna mess with it.
When Jodie joined me...she also said, "you know you might have sleep apnea...you stop breathing and twitch all night..."
Then I started going to Overeater's Anonymous. Which is changing my life...in a really big way. Learning that "normal" people...care for their health. Their body...their spirit...that my compulsive overeating is part of a bigger problem than "just" being overweight, it is about so much more. The first self care thing I have done for myself is to make the appointment and actually go do the sleep evaluation.
Hooked up to numerous leads....video taped and recorded during an over night stay. I have a follow up on December 20th. I dread they will tell me, yes indeedio, you have sleep apnea. I am even more afraid they might say I don't.
Last night we watched "City of Angels"....my first time seeing it. Excellent movie. Cried buckets...and usually I avoid anything that makes me blubber...but apparently I needed it.
Jodie works a lot of nights till 11:30 p.m., and tonight is one of those nights. I plan on KNITTING!!!! Wheeeeee. The Braids Cardigan has been neglected for the entire 6 weeks. Think it's time for it to have a little attention.....Let ya know how that goes...