Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Not A Lot Of Knitting

Life is a little hectic right now...work...kids in school...dance stuff...life.

I have completed the seemingly neverending strip for the bottom of the Baby Albert Coat, basically 200 rows of garter stitch. Seems like it should have gone a lot faster than it did...now almost done with the first front...Using Lorna's Laces Ice House...Ugly pics taken with webcam to be posted in a day or so. It is not the easiest way to do pics...the webcam. Equally ugly pics of progress on The Braids cardigan...tho the yarn is dark and I don't know if any detail actually comes through. argh.

One of the things that is taking up my time is OA. You know, when you have handled every pain, crisis, and celebration with food your entire life...when you stop that..you have to deal with FEELINGS.

I have consistently brought alcoholic/addicts into my life, until Jodie. I can honestly say I have a completely different perspective on their motivations and struggles.

OA is not a "diet". I have only shared with a select few people in my "real world" that I am working this program. One of them asked me, "So, how's your new diet going...lost any weight?"

No not really. But I have gained a tremendous insight to myself in the last 6 weeks. I am painfully aware this is not a quick fix. I'd like a quick fix, you know..."Step one, check. Step two, check....step twelve, check. Okay. I'm done now."

It's not going to work that way.

I don't know how to face the day-to-day crap that comes along without eating to soothe myself. Noticed when I stopped eating to soothe...I wanted to start shopping. Replace one complusion with another, aye?

Knitting is helping me. It is medatative and soothes me. I suspect I could (and have) knit compulsively as well. This however doesn't endanger my health or relationships....well...not much. ;-P

One thing that stands out clearly in my mind....If I could redirect the energy I have put into compulsive overeating and trying NOT to compulsively overeat...say into knitting...I could clothe an entire family in hand knits.

8 comments:

Knitti-me said...

Ack! I keep writing something and have deleted three times. I guess it all comes down to, "You Go Girl." This isn't easy stuff and I admire you for dealing with it face on.

Love you!

Marie

Ryan said...

Dr. Phil always says you can't get rid of one compulsive behavior without putting something else in its place!

Good luck with all of this, dear Lisa! And I just had a thought--have you thought about taking up spinning? It's something else creative and craft-y and fiber-y you can do with your hands that might help with the munchies. Of course, what do I know; I haven't spun an inch in my life.

Bron said...

I don't have any brilliant thoughts - just...keep going, I guess. It's not easy, it'll never be easy, but just that fact that you're doing it commands incredible respect. We all have crutches in life - you've dropped yours, so no wonder you feel wobbly!

Keep going - it WILL get better. :)

Robbyn said...

Look at it this way kiddo. Dealing with this stuff is going to put you in a whole new world but first, it's going to be like trying to squeeze through a little knot hole in the fence.

Tough. Irritating - even painful, maybe. Exhausting.

But oh, the wide open spaces on the other side!

Roberto Iza Valdes said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Knitti-me said...

Where are you? I'm missing you!

Anonymous said...

have you ever heard of the book "food addiction, the body knows" by kay sheppard? she has a website about it. my mother lost a good 80lbs with her food plan, it's a complete life change but she no longer has issues with food, and she goes to overeaters anonymous in conjunction with the food plan in the book, it's changed her life and her body. she's a whole new person and has so much energy. i admire your courage in facing your issues, it's the biggest gift you could ever give yourself.

~

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