Wednesday, November 17, 2004

What are we doing here?

Occasionally, I ponder the meaning of life.....And lately I have been doing a lot of pondering.

I think we are here for this: To Learn Something.

Some of us have many things to learn. Some have a couple. Perhaps a very few only have one Big Thing to learn.

Some of the things I have realized I have learned (or are still working on learning):

There are no mistakes. My perfectionism and feelings of failure are manufactured in my own mind...not sent to "punish" me by God..The Universe...whatever you choose to call it. My knitting is such a good example of this. As I mentioned briefly yesterday, I finished Shedir. It is lovely...soft and cushy out of Blue Sky Alpaca. Damn near perfect. Except....one prominent ladder at the top. Originally intended as a gift...I immediately went into "I can't give this to someone...it's not perfect!!!" and stuffed it away. However, I am learning. That little voice in my head says..."give it." Will I? I have no clue. Talk to me in a week. Or a month. Maybe.

The Really Big Thing I Am Learning: Let It Unfold. This means, stop running ahead trying to fix everything so you won't be uncomfortable later. It is also about not being in control of everything all the time.

Someone said to me once... "you always have to be in control, don't you?" and I was SO ANNOYED! I thought..."I am NOT controlling!! How could she say that!!!!"

I have realized that it is not so much that I want to control others....I want to know what is going to happen...because I can't stand being left in a state of suspense. It has to do with childhood and having a crazy mom and never knowing what was going to happen next. This is probably translated best in my knitting as the desire for a pattern to follow...and for the pattern to be correct. It makes me totally insane when the pattern does not make sense....in all aspects of life!

See....knitting can be tied to everything. Even the Mysteries of the Universe....

Challenge: What are you here to learn?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That the journey is more important than the goal.
That everyone counts - even those I don't like.
Even those I hate.
That I have to find my own path. So does everyone else.
That it's okay if I like myself, preferable even.
That living is a story and dying, simply a translation.

Robbyn
The Yarnpath

Anonymous said...

Hi! Secret pal here. Disapointed that you didn't get the box like they said you would! I figured it was a bit too fast though. I think I'm here to learn patience (among other things)! Still have much to learn about that though. Hope all is well for you inspite of things going on. Keeping you in my prayers.

your pal

Anonymous said...

Oh, that control thing. That's what I'm learning - how NOT to be in control of all of life's little problems. Hard, huh? Glad you got to talk to Ryan! I'd love to have lunch with you both some fine day....
:)
Rachael
http://yarnagogo.com

Bron said...

What am I here to learn? How to embrace my inner control freak & understand she's not such a bad person. I can't "let go & let God" 'cause that's not what I believe, but I do need to confront & not run away. There's truth to be found in working through the pain.

Hmmmm....that & how to frog knitted lace without cursing to make a sailor blush. ;)

Hugs to you, dahlink.