I have not worked full time in three years. About that time...I fell apart. Call it what you will...a nervous breakdown or meltdown, whatever...I just melted down in a very big way. I cut my hours back and I will be ever grateful to the senior partner at my job who said "do what you need to do, I don't want to lose you."
I've been at 3/4 time pretty much the last year. I've scraped by...and frankly, I was scared to death of another meltdown. So I didn't push it.
Hence...here we are. Financial issues up the wazoo. This pay period marks the return to full time. I can do this...really. I keep telling myself that...and reminding myself I only have to do it one day at a time.
Meanwhile, Christmas looms and I somehow...don't ask how cause damned if I know...I have Christmas knitting all over the house. Argh! So far:
- Two frou-frou acrlyic novelty "crap yarn" scarves for Jodie's 4 & 7 yo neices - DONE.
- A pair of Irish Hiking fingerless mitts in Cascade 220- DONE
- A pair " " in Caron Simply Soft - 1.5 Done (these are for someone who doesn't know me and doesn't like me. In that order. But, I have my reasons. I don't care if she doesn't like me. I don't particularly like her too much either. Yes, I realize the bizarreness of knitting for someone who doesn't like you...again, I have my reasons - crazy reaons maybe...but reasons).
- A hat (k1 p1 rib) for Jodie's husband in Superwash Cascade 220- mmm....half to 3/4 done.
- A Pismo hat for the guy who fixes my computer for free.... 1/3 done and this one may not see Christmas as an FO...tiny needles, tiny stitches....
- A Sofie ala Norma in Cascade 220 - Knit, felted, just need to get the handle hardware on there. Knowing me, I'll be doing that at 1 a.m. Christmas eve.....
- Another novelty scarf of Fun Fur and acrylic boucle - 1/3 done. The Fun Fur is the self striping kind and the distraction of the color change is at least saving me from slitting my throat. I knit through at least one repeat of the three colors (black, navy and turqouise) at a sitting. This may be mindless knitting, but it is also endless knitting....
- Branching Out in Silky Wool - Knit, needs to be blocked.
There are other things I could/might start given the time....the question is, can I do this and work full time? That's the $100,000 question. If I could just get my employer to let me knit at my desk.....uh...not likely. What will help is that Jodie will be working a lot of nights and I don't sleep well when she's gone...so I can knit, I hope.
So reading over this post, you may think I am all fragile and crap. I'm not. I feel that way sometimes.....but I am effing strong, thank you very much. I can do this...I'm sure I can.